Rape is Still Sexy and #SPotD @xoxoLizza

Posted on Posted in REAL life, things that are important, things that bug me

man-641691_1920A few weeks ago, an idiot followed a woman off the train and raped her. I call him an idiot because everyone knows there are cameras all over the trains and train stations. He was doomed the minuted he decided to rape her. Not that it kept her from getting raped. Rape has been going on for a long time now. Isn’t it time we ended it?

Rape is seen as masculine, but it’s not. Rape is more like lip syncing. We should be laughing at rapists. If rape makes him feel strong, we should call the rapist weak–clearly having no confidence in his own abilities with women. If rape makes him feel successful, we should point and jeer. If rape makes him feel powerful, we should make fun of the rapist for being too scared to try to hit on a woman.

Our reaction to rape is wrong. We get angry, we threaten violence, we’re intrigued. We arm potential victims with knowledge and skills for safety. We teach girls to be afraid of their own sexuality.

Last year I was watching a RadKIDS graduation. RadKIDS is a program aimed at giving kids (in elementary school) practical skills to protect themselves from violence and harm. In the introduction, the instructed talked about how the things we (adults) were taught as kids to protect ourselves were  wrong. She pointed out that it didn’t protect us from family and others that kids already feel close to. That was the real danger.

It didn’t ring true. I think the things we were taught did work. Predators merely evolved–like how bacterial soap is actually bad because it leaves only the strong bacteria which then make armies of super-bacteria. We now have super predators–resistant to the old advice. But is updated advice really the way to go?

Those sexual urges are so strong. The wrongness of it increases the thrill. But it’s hard to feel powerful when you know everyone will laugh and call you a loser for what you’re about to do. What if being a rapist was the least masculine thing ever. What if kids were taught that rapists are losers.

When we allow rapists to be seen as masculine, we force women to be less feminine to have a basic level of safety. In response to the idiot rapist, a safety video is making the rounds on Facebook. It contains tips for how a young woman can safely walk to her own car in broad daylight. Really? No, it is not fantastic or great or a good idea. It makes me angry. I want to be MORE feminine. I want girls to flirt with the hot guy in the parking lot and wear yoga pants and dresses. I want girls to wear tall boots and blow kisses and giggle and smile. I want girls to be safe already not safe if they try to stop being sexy.

This whole “don’t be a victim” campaign doesn’t work for me. Ten years from now, you’ll be watching yet another safety video. As you reflect over how crazy the world has become, remember this little article and take a moment to wonder if laughing and teasing was a better way to go.

-Jill

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Spotlighted Periscope of the Day [#SPotD]: @xoxoLizza inside @periscopetv Lizza Morales scopes better than anyone at periscopeHQ so far. Great job, Lizza!

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